Fat lady fashions

Yes, alright, I know I’m not fat, I’m with child, but you can’t miss an opportunity for alliteration like that!

This week I have taken a good hard look at myself in the mirror and realised that I can’t keep on wearing my ‘normal’ clothes for work, because they’re just getting too short at the front as they pass over le’bump, and they are making me look fat, not pregnant, which means I never get offered a seat on the tube, and I’m too much of a wuss to ask in case an angry banker tells me to fuck off.

I got up on Friday ready for a delve in the bag of maternity clothes that my sis had lent me. Unfortunately, my usual problem of ‘big fat arse is rather hard to dress’ reared its ugly head again- I’ve no idea why I thought i would suddenly look good in a style of clothing that has never suited me just because I was preggers, but i did. And i tried on every work-like thing in the bag and it all looked poo, with the exception of one dress that might be ok in a month or so’s time.

So i tootled into work, a bit dejected, still in my normal clothes, still no seat on the tube, and spent a good chunk of my lunchtime panic-buying on ASOS. £200 quid lighter, a big haul of stuff will be arriving next week (and I’m sure most of it will be going back, but it seemed silly to just order a little bit when it was the same delivery charge to order a lot!). Fingers crossed there’ll be some good stuff in there!

The last few weekends, I’ve been wearing a ridiculously uninspiring combo of primark leggings with fleecy lining (oh god theyre comfy!) and a long jumper. I’ve only got two of each and three weekends down the line was getting a bit bored of wearing exactly the same thing two days a weeks, but thankfully a final delve in the ‘maternity clothes bag of plenty’ bore fruit- a pretty cool studded jumper. Hoo-bloody-ray. I went out Saturday shopping feeling decidedly chipper to not be slopping about looking like a bag of crap. (I won’t mention the fact that I have spent the whole of sunday looking like a bag of crap in said fleecy leggings and a sweatshirt I normally go running in!

So what are we wearing here then?
Quite a lot of primark, as is usual in my world- fleece lined leggings and cream sheer long shirt, currently in the shops. Jumper- Mamas and Papas maternity (but from two years back) and pirate boots- Dorothy Perkins- Christmas pressie last year from the lovely Mr Mark


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