Far from this being an enjoyable task, I wasn’t really looking forward to it- I’m not a fan of being in the spotlight, talking about myself or being fussed over, and in fact I ended up having what I can only assume was a hormone-based teary moment, telling Mr Mark I didn’t want to tell anyone because I was scared they’d think I didn’t deserve it as I’d never had anything positive to say about children. Which he decided was so irrational, all he could do was laugh at me. Which made me cry more. So we decided to get the word out in as distant a way as possible- via the power of Facebook messaging.
In actual fact, we had been forced to fly in the face of tradition and tell a handful of people before the 12 week scan. Not ideal, partially because at that stage with my lack of anything resembling a symptom I was still expecting to get to the scan and be told I’d either imagined it or something had gone horribly wrong. It happens- miscarriage rates are just so high in the first 12 weeks that I’m sure most mums to be will have a moment of ‘what if’, particularly as there seems to be thousands of women on various forums who’ve suffered from a ‘missed miscarriage’ (ie its happened but your body hasn’t quite caught up with the fact and there’s no outward sign). After a lot of medical journal searching, I reassured myself missed miscarriages really were rather rare!
Anyway, I digress- at 10 weeks, I was off on a hen do. I knew I wouldn’t get away with a whole weekend of not drinking with three of my closest friends, so had to let the cat out of that particular bag. Which meant that I wanted to tell my mum and sister IN PERSON before I told my friends. Which meant Mark thought it was only fair to tell his family and the equivalent boys on the stag he was on. All in all I think about 20 people must’ve found out pre-scan. Happily, being people we were very close to, nobody asked any testing questions and everyone without exception was really pleased. At least we assumed they were. That or really good actors.
Post-scan, the rest of our close family were informed in person (basically my bro and our nans), followed by Facebook messages to various groups of people that we see regularly (ironically asking them to keep the good news off of Facebook!) which again was fab- lots of well wishes and no opportunity for people to give well-meaning advice. In retrospect I wonder why I was worried at all in the first place!